Story Sunday: Muppet Tracking Technology

Hi, I'm Shannon and I really like the Muppets. If you don't like the muppets... I think you should re-examine your life. Also I am now in my thirties... but being in your twenties and dating is hard and guys in New Jersey can suck sometimes. This is a story of some muppet and awkward dating related events that happened in my 20s.

So... a very long time ago- before my sister had my niece- we were in New York City on Christmas and we didn't recognize this one Sesame Street character that we saw- or didn't know her name. We both know who Abby Kadabby is now and we're fans... but we didn't recognize her at the time... or maybe we didn't know who was Zoey and who was Rosita... but my sister said "I wish there was an app where you could scan a muppet and see who it was." This is brilliant.

Okay- so several years later- around my 21st birthday I was still thinking of this thought... and I wanted to play a drinking game where you see people and say what muppet they are. So a family friend of mine took me and my cousin to a casino to celebrate my birthday and we saw a guy dressed all in green and a newsboy cap... he looked just like Kermit the Frog! It was so funny my cousin and I took a picture with Kermit in frame... it was great.

Flash forward to a few years later when I was at a bar and some guys started talking to my friends and I when we were having a girls night... these guys weren't cute... we weren't really interested in them... and they were kinda deushey. I forget if they were basically unemployed and said they were developing an app or if my friend said that she worked to develop apps... I think it was my friend who actually did help with developing apps and I haven't talked to this friend in a while- but she was good with it. She's doing well. Anyway- uhhh I told these guys about this muppet app... and they were like "ohh we're not into muppets." And then they said my friend didn't like muppets... and she did... and to me it was pretty clear no one was interested in me and they were only interested in my friend. Which is fine... See above: I would not date anyone that doesn't like the muppets.

But also like... here's a thing that might be dating advice... uhh just be yourself. I think maybe at the time people thought I was too quirky, or maybe I was trying to hard to be quirky because someone once told me I looked like Zooey Deschannel in one picture and then if I didn't become Jess Day my life would be ruined... but uhh no. I don't actually think liking the muppets is quirky or weird... and you know what... this is important.

Flashback to when I was growing up and watching The Muppets- my mom would always tell me that her grandpa's favorite character was Rowlf because he liked how he played the piano, and my dad's favorite muppet was The Swedish Chef. These are important facts... my dad's sense of humor very much goes along with The Swedish Chef. Another comedy my dad famously loved was Da Ali G Show... and I think it's for the same reasons he likes The Swedish Chef. Ali G says ridiculous words and the people around him are trying to understand his questions... it all makes sense. My favorite muppets are Statler and Waldorf and Miss Piggy. This might not be exactly how everyone thinks of me: But I can really judge others and I can also be very vain... with a temper. But also like Statler and Waldorf and Miss Piggy- I don't think these are bad qualities... I'm not really like that... but that might just be my unhinged inner self.

Alright that is important because I think the most important question you can ask someone when you're dating is who their favorite muppet is- or even when you're just meeting someone in general. I used to ask this a lot on OK Cupid and... my boyfriend could not pick one out... I just reread the conversation because I thought it was Scooter because... my boyfriend is 100% Scooter. Even just when I was talking to him for that little bit of time on OK Cupid I could tell- this guy was somehow like Scooter and I liked that. I can't explain why he's like Scooter... but I think if anyone ever meets him they'll know. Anyway he said he couldn't pick- but his first answer was Scooter after saying he wasn't sure he could pick. And I knew I liked this guy already because I could tell he seemed invested and like he was really thinking about it. I also think Gonzo might be his favorite- which is also important because Gonzo is important to people about my age. Muppets in Space and Muppet Treasure Island were in theaters when I was little, and Muppet Christmas Carol is also very famous and features Gonzo's greatest performance possibly as Charles Dickens.

This story time turned into a very long essay that is not very focused.. .but my conclusion is: Be Yourself. Talk to people about The Muppets- or anything else you like for that matter. But also- be the quirky girl if you're quirky- but don't try to be quirky. I started writing this with the conclusion in my mind being that my boyfriend, the person I was supposed to be with, didn't see me as the quirky girl or the cool girl. I think he just saw me for who I am- which is Shannon... and for some reason I guess he likes that.

Didn't intend for this to also be a love letter to my boyfriend- but since that's how it turned out Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I hope you are able to find your perfect Muppet person... or just cool friends and cool guys who are into the things that you are also into.

Bye!

-Shannon