Movie Monday: Movie 43- the WORST Movie of All Time! Sketches ranked!

Okay calling Movie 43 the worst movie of all time is fair... but I also do think there are a few movies that are worse... some scenes in this were maybe enjoyable... I laughed a lot at JB Smoove in this movie. It's still Garbage and mostly creepy BUT I would say 2004's Academy Award Winning Crash was worse all together.

With that being said let's get into all the sketches in Movie 43 and... yeah.

The Thread: aka the International version of the film

So this isn't really a sketch and I don't think this was the best or worst part of the movie... but it is closer to being the Worst and... I don't think I would ever watch this version of the movie again or this part of it specifically. Actually I did rank this part and I ranked it 12 out of 13 sketches... so that makes sense. That's a fair assessment. In the international version some kids are trying to prank their brother and they tell him there's some super bad banned movie he needs to find on the internet called Movie 43- so he's going through all these videos thinking they're movie 43... and his brother is trying to give his computer a virus by looking up dirty stuff... he finds a video of an older lady that he ends up finding out is his mother and this causes the apocalypse- which a future version of the kid brother was trying to find out. This was really cringey and hard to watch espcecially because of the age of all the actors in this... this was bad.

The US version had Dennis Quaid pitching the movie and Seth MacFarlane is in as himself... and this also looked bad but maybe less cringey.

Okay now I'm going to talk about the segments in the movie and... I think I'll just go in order maybe?

Blind Date

So the first movie has Kate Winslet going out on a blind date with Hugh Jackman- who is such a catch she wonders why he's single... and then he takes his scarf off and reveals some genetalia dangling from his neck. Skip this one if you have a peanut allergy if you get what I mean.

Anyway... I ranked this one 5th. This was the first movie that they showed and I was WAYYY more hopeful for this movie at the beginning. With a lot of the later sketches I had given up hope.

Homeschool

So this sketch has an actual married couple playing a married couple! Side note: they have since ended their marriage and everyone else in this movie that was a couple at one point did in fact break up... and I'm sure there were arguments about this movie.

Anyway Liev Schrieber and Naomi Watts play a couple that are homeschooling their son and they are trying to explain to their friends how they are giving their son a normal high school experience. His dad is a bully, a mean gym teacher and his best friend. His mom is his first kiss and a mean teacher. They even throw crazy parties and don't invite him... even though he's at home.

And at the end the friends find out that he's going on a date with the pretty girl at school... and it's just a dummy with his moms face.

Jeremy Allen White from The Bear is in this segment so if you play Cine2nerdle like I do- you can use this. I ranked this one 7th. It was really cringey and it wasn't terrible but I hated it.

The Proposition

This is the best part of the movie. I would say this segment is worth watching. This stars another divorced couple: Chris Pratt and Ana Faris. Chris Pratt is about to propose- but Ana Faris asks another big question- if he will poop on her.

This segment has JB Smoove in it talking about how it's sweet that she asked for a poop and not a sh*t... it was very funny.

He eats a lot of burritos to get ready and then the girlfriend doesn't want to rush things but he just needs to go... and then he insults her and he gets hit by a car and explodes... but he's still okay and he proposes.

So obviously this is my number 1. Ana Faris is great in this. Chris Pratt is also funny. I don't mind this one.

Veronica

This is the number 2- no pun intended- sketch on my list. It's not that great or anything... but it's Kieran Culkin and Emma Stone just yelling at each other at a supermarket on the loud speaker... and the one liners and the delivery in this make it pretty funny despite it being kind of a bad sketch. There's not any real embarrassment over the loud speaker being on, they don't turn it off or anything... they're also loud to begin with so it's likely that everyone would have heard them anyway. It's also short and early on in the movie so I was less synical... and also Kieran Culkin and Emma Stone were a couple and they later broke up.

Superhero Speed Dating

There was almost a couple in this sketch. Leslie Bibb is in it and Sam Rockwell was supposed to play Batman but he dropped out and they are still together today... so that's a good thing. Anyway, this is what the movie starts to drag... and this is only 8 on my ranking so... it's definitely not the worst. This just felt long... it's just Robin Speed Dating and there are more DC heroes that show up. I don't even really remember what happens.

John Hodgeman directed this one and I like him.

I Babe

This is a short commercial and then a sketch. Richard Gere and Kate Bosworth are in it... I think this might be where Jack McBrayer is also in the movie. There's also someone that was on The Daily Show. Anyway this one... I ranked number 10. I don't remember this one at all but... I think they made an iPod that looked like a lady and people were using it in other ways... but her outlet was in the part they were using and things got caught off or something? I appreciated the amount of famous people in this one and I guess the concept could have been funny but it wasn't. There are worse sketches... but not a lot.

Leprechaun

This was called Happy Birthday actually? This is where the Movie 43 Kill Count starts. I ranked this at number 11... which is a little low? I feel like this was way better than super hero speed dating but... maybe it wasn't? This had Johnny Knoxville and Sean William Scott. One of them stole a leprechaun and was going to give it to the other one for their birthday to make up for the fact that they stole the other one's girlfriend... and then the leprechaun's don't like being kidnapped. Gerard Butler does a good job of being the leprechaun and the brother of the leprechaun in this one... but this is still bad.

Halle Berry's Segment

This one is a blind date or first date... maybe this segment is blind date and the Kate Winslet one is first date? It doesn't matter this one has Halle Berry and Stephen Merchant doing ridiculous dares to liven up a first date and... it does get offensively bad in this one... and there are funny parts of that but... being that I am not recommending this movie for others to watch... I'm ranking this 5th? I guess that's my reasoning. This one is really offensive and bad- but it is a lot funnier than other sketches before it got offensive and Stephen Merchant got to work with Halle Berry... and that's not bad.

Period segment

I don't even really want to talk about this one. This was 9th. Chloe Grace Moretz and Matt Walsh are in it. Elizabeth Banks directed this one. I hated this.

Victory's Garden

I ranked this one 3rd. This one is still offensive but it's less offensive than most of the movie? I don't want to talk about this one either. But it's a parody of Sports movies and some of the pep talks they have and I thought the parodying was okay. Plus compared with a lot of the end sketches- this was more enjoyable.

Beezel

I hated this one so much. I wrote why are they doing this to me in my notes. It's about a cat that loves his owner so much that... he does stuff. And he tries to sabatoge the guys girlfriend and he ends up getting the girlfriend brutally murdered. This is also animated... and James Gunn's sense of humor back then was edgy and... this is kind of the type of humor in the horrible tweets that ended up getting him fired from Disney for a bit. This was bad.

They also play this after they do the end credits- so I thought the movie was over... and it wasn't. This was terrible... really really bad.

Find Our Daughter

Bob odenkirk directed this one. This is also a deleted scene... but you can still use Bob odenkirk for this while playing cinenerdle- but you can't use Julieanne Moore or Tony Shalob- who are the stars of this sketch. They went to the police to help them Find their daughter and they show her in a girls gone wild type video and they seem proud. While this is cringey it wasn't the worst. I ranked it 6th.

Machine kids

There was a weird sketch about kids trapped in a vending machine? It was like a PSA about how they live in the vending machines and give you your sodas or something... and this was bizarre but also kind of funny. This could have worked in another movie or something. I put this 4th.

Don't watch this movie... but if you do- turn it off before superhero speed dating and you'll be okay.

Bye!

-Shannon