American Horror Stories: Rubber(Wo)man Review+ Recap with Spoilers

So... I had high hopes for this show... and these episodes totally sucked... I'm sure the show can get better and I'm going to keep watching... but there are some REALLY bad problems in the writing... and it seems like they just don't know how to write a single episode horror story. It felt like they had a toddler or a 13 year old write an American Horror Story Episode... It was just really really bad.

The first part of the episode is okay. We meet Scarlett- who is a young girl being raised by her 2 dads and they are moving to the Murder House from American Horror Story Season 1. And the dads are sweet- they don't really make them being gay a huge part of the story or the dynamic between them and Scarlett. It was just nice to have her have gay dads without it being a big deal. Scarlett is also a lesbian in the show... but she isn't officially out because she doesn't want her sexuality fetishized... keep in mind... that's all the episode keeps doing.

So Scarlett is in this new school- she immediately gets a crush on the popular girl- who invites Scarlett to a sleepover. Scarlett's dads find out she's watching some BDSM videos online that are... frightening and violent and they're concerned because Scarlett told them she'd stop watching them and she didn't and I think they got a Private eye or something to investigate it... it was weird. She gets grounded and they have a therapist come to the house.

There's also a moment where Scarlett puts on the Rubber Man suit to try to scare her dads... and she accidentally stabs her one dad.

So when they're in therapy they mention that Scarlett was kidnapped as a baby. A woman lost her daughter and she stole the Dad's car with Scarlett in it and she was missing for 10 days. Would be super nice if this came back up later... but no.

Then the therapist gets killed... for no reason? And no one looks for her. It looks like the Rubber Man kills her? It's literally not important to the plot at all that this woman dies.

After that Scarlett goes to a sleepover with her crush and the mean girls at school. She sneaks out of the house because she was grounded. She goes into the crush's bedroom alone with her to change into some pajamas... and Scarlett tells the crush that she's into watching people in pain... and Scarlett videotaped it and it was on instagram live... and then Scarlett runs away crying.

So she goes home- tells the girls that she's going to kill herself if they don't go to her house... they see that it's the murder house and they're freaked out... but they go in and Scarlett kills them. And hides them in the wall.

Part 2: Scarlett's got a new love interest! She's a Ghost that lives in the house and looks an awful lot like her crush from school... but it actually isn't. Took long enough for me to see that but yeah. She's just a house ghost with a tragic and interesting backstory that goes no where.

We find out Ruby- the new love interest... Ohhh hey get it- Scarlett and Ruby... They're really hitting you on the head with the Red names. Anyway we find out that her parents died when she was little and they gave her to her uncle who abused her... and then on her 16th birthday he took her to the middle of the desert- and she thought he was going to kill her... but in the desert she sees her parents... who sold her to this guy named Tony- who was not her uncle... and she then went to the Murder House and killed herself. I thought maybe there would be some sort of connection with her being the daughter the woman that kidnapped Scarlett lost or something... but no. There's no reference to any of that... no connection.

There's no chemistry between these two... and they're just REALLY pushing this narrative.

The girls that Scarlett killed are also doomed to stay in the murder house and they want to kill Scarlett or torture her. Surely that will cause some sort of unrest for Scarlet or some conflict in the episode right... No. Ruby basically tells them "SWIPER NO SWIPING" and they just go "ohhh Man."

Anyway... so they dont' try to kill her in the house... but Ruby does kill Scarlett's dads just as their B plot was getting somewhat interesting... albeit pretty unimportant. They try to get a contractor for the house and the contractor ends up having an affair with the blonde dad because the Matt Bomer dad sees a ghost in the house. And then the contractor finds the girls Scarlett killed in the walls and then he kills the guy that's working with him and Rubber Man kills him... for no reason. And then the dads try to leave the house- but they can't cause they died in there and now that's where they live.

Then halloween happens and Scarlett goes out with Ruby and the mean girls that Scarlett killed try to kill her outside of the house... that way she'll be separated from Ruby and her dad. Also Halloween is the only time they can leave the house.

Oh my gosh the Mean Girls from the house are going to kill Scarlett... What a complication right? No- cause Ruby's there and once again goes:"SWIPER NO SWIPING" and the girls go "Awww, Man!" and go home. Well one of the girls sees her boyfriend- but they eventually end up making peace with Scarlett... despite Scarlett killing them.

Scarlett also has another friend who is a great character and also has NO POINT in being in the show. The friend sees Scarlett and goes "Shane Dawson did a video about Sociopaths and I think you're a sociopath." and Scarlett goes... I don't know what Scarlett does because this scene really doesn't matter except giving us a reason for Scarlet's behavior? But it kind of doesn't... It's so so so weird.

So Ruby wants Scarlett to kill herself inside the house and then be with her forever. And Scarlett kind of wants that but kind of doesn't. Scarlett wants to live still... so she lives. She leaves says maybe she'll go abroad... lives on the lam. We don't really know that much other than that she finds out Uncle Tony's address and goes to kill him.

It ends with a weird narration from Ruby... a character who wasn't even in the first part of the episode. But Ruby waits for halloween every year because that's the one day that Scarlett visits and she feels like a schoolgirl when she comes back. Why does Scarlett only come back on Halloween... it makes no sense. Scarlett is alive and can visit the house whenever she wants... Halloween would be the only day Ruby could visit Scarlett... so it makes no sense. Maybe Scarlett just doesn't want her dads in the house so she can bang this ghost girl... but she was taking a bath with the girl when the dads were in the house so... who knows.

There was also a moment where the dads were taking care of the mean girls and Ruby and Ruby was annoyed that her afterlife was like a sitcom. And the dad's were totally fine in their marriage in the afterlife and very happy together. So everything worked out... with no consequences and no conflict for anyone.

Even though its a short episode... they could have developed these characters a little bit better. They could have had some sort of conflict or suspense in the episode... they had WAYYYY too many unnecessary characters. They totally broke the "Checkov's Gun" rule where if you introduce a gun or something exciting in Act 1 you HAVE to use that in Act 3... they introduced SOOO MANY interesting plot points that they just... didn't use.

I looked on Instagram and saw a lot of positive reviews for the episode... and I was like "FX BOUGHT THESE REVIEWS" because... I just can't imagine who would like this episode. It was kind of bleh and nothing important really happened. It did pander really to the Tate and Violet STANS who want their relationship... and I've never understood that.... so maybe that's just why I can't think of the couple or characters in the episode relatable at all... soooo... yeah. This was just BAD in my opinion.

The worst part I think was... either the therapist dying for no reason... or it's Ruby just saying "Hey stay away from this girl." twice and that working on the ghosts... twice. The dads I thought were somewhat entertaining. I just... thought it was really really bad. I literally texted my boyfriend after watching it telling him it was the worst show ever... and I think he agreed.

So that's my review of this. I'm still going to watch the show at least till next week... if it's bad next week I might give up and just watch the Danny Trejo Santa episode... but yeah. This has me less excited about AHS Double Feature... which is hard to get me unexcited about. One of the only things I love more than AHS is Macaulay Culkin... so yeah.

Bye!

-Shannon